God's Word never stops amazing me, teaching me, and encouraging me. Today I was reading in Romans, trying to get caught up with my schedule, when God's Word spoke to me in a way I haven't experienced in a long time. To be perfectly honest, I've felt a big disconnect from Him with the last month or two. Sure, I've still been going to church, reading my Bible, and praying, but it has seemed kind of forced, and not genuine. Well, I didn't go to church this morning due to a choir competition the day before, and I just needed to rest. So, I was reading in Romans 7 where Paul's talking about struggling with sin. The verses that screamed at me go like this:
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
Go a head and read those verses again, I had to.
Now, read them one more time, since I did as well to fully get my head around the depth of Paul's message.
This paragraph has just describes my past 3 Saturdays. I am in show choir, and the past three weekends, we have been at competitions, and I have been totally out of my element. Being around that atmosphere really pressures me to conform to the world's standards, to talk, act, and think like everyone else. It has been really hard. I am trying my best, and asking for God's help, to be a witness of Christ, to be salt in the world. Most of the times, it seems like I don't make a difference. It seems like I just mess up and conform, and I am fighting a battle that I'll never win.
These verses spoke to my heart this morning. Knowing that Paul experienced those same things, those same feelings is such a comfort to me. Who knows, that battle may always be a losing one, but who will rescue me? Jesus Christ my Lord. I am reminded that I am in this world, but not of this world. (Most of the verses on this page will give account to that) That, though I struggle with infinite sins, and never ending challenges, that it is all for God's glory. In the next chapter in Romans, Paul says, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us" (chapter 8 vs 18). What a reminder! Our actions today are meant for glory in heaven. Talk about a different perspective. I will be pondering on these verse for quite a while, and maybe God will get me out of this rut I seem to have found myself in.
Reading Update: Well, I haven't been keeping along with my schedule 100%, I am about 5-6 days behind, but hopefully I can slowly but surely get caught up. I've enjoyed the break from tough OT books with Psalms. It's been quite an encouragement this last month and a half. And what a book Romans is! Holy cow! I can't wait to read this book through again when I get the chance. It is chalk full of wisdom.
